What Do You Mean?
What Do You Mean?
Creating Greater Understanding in a Multicultural World
In this issue:
What Do You Mean? / One Nation, Too Divided? / The Rise of the 9 p.m. Work Hour - The Atlantic / The Lighter Side of the Meaning of Language
Why you’re getting this:
I'm Andrea J. Miller and this is my “On Leading Well” Newsletter. I send this to people in my networks, people I’ve met recently, and friends I want to keep in touch with. You can unsubscribe (SEE THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE EMAIL) anytime, I won’t be offended
What Do You Mean? : Creating Greater Understanding in a Multicultural World
Have you ever felt confused by someone’s response to you?
Perhaps they seemed angry for no reason?
That happened to me last week when I went back to the dentist.
There was more work to be done – and the tooth that she’d worked on was still hurting weeks later.
Her tone made me uncomfortable.
The exchange was odd.
I felt she was accusing/blaming me for the pain she created (WTF).
Then, my cross-cultural training kicked in.
She didn’t mean to be rude (though it was how it felt).
She was just giving me the facts, directness was clearly a valued norm in her culture.
But the only fact that mattered to me at that vulnerable moment was that it hurt, and all I wanted was compassion and the pain to go away.
Often, we forget that though we may all be speaking the same language it may be passing through a cultural filter.
A growing body of research has shown that feelings and emotions can have different meanings in other cultures.
The Funny Thing About Language
Having attempted to learn and at times destroyed two other languages besides my own, I’ve often been surprised by the words and expressions used.
Even the rhythms when pronouncing things can create a different sensation than if I was saying it in English.
I feel different when I speak in French or Spanish.
There’s a greater flow to the words, a lightness that I don’t experience in English.
The expressions feel almost whimsical.
I almost feel like a different person.
And yet I hadn’t considered the full impact.
We’re speaking the same language, we must mean the same thing, right?
Wrong.
In a global market intention and impact can be the difference between a confused, unhappy client and customer satisfaction.
While there are general rules and patterns across cultures (see Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions), these patterns can blur as we’re all exposed to other cultures and influences.
Over-generalizing about how someone should be, can also be problematic.
So, what’s a person to do to avoid overreacting to a seemingly angry dentist (my personal rule is never to get mad at someone who has a drill in your mouth, but that’s just me).
Like with most relationships it’s about listening to the other person, not jumping to conclusions, and taking the time to understand their perspective.
There’s magic in a pause.
Taking a moment (actually 6 seconds) to regain composure and flip the switch.
Then, once you’re calm, ask, what did you mean?
We live in a world in which we have so much information coming at us that we often fail to take the time to gain clarity for fear we may miss something…but by doing so we miss even more.
Instead of worrying about what you might have missed, maybe it’s time to think about what you can gain.
You don’t have to be an expert in other cultures to understand them.
Next time you have an unexpectedly awkward or uncomfortable interaction, just remember to pause and ask, “what did you mean by that?”
Our words have power. Isn’t it worth taking the time to ensure they’re having the intended impact?
—
The Lighter Side of the Meaning of Language
As a Brooklyn/Bronx native, I can only say, be careful if the Brooklyn voice comes out (and yes, that is another language :)
—
RECOMMENDED LISTENS, READS And other interesting things
“Political sectarianism is rampant in the U.S. Three experts discuss whether we can remain united.”
The Rise of the 9 p.m. Work Hour - The Atlantic
This Is What Happens When There Are Too Many Meetings: Why a 9-to-10 is the new 9-to-5
—
Are there any other subjects you want me to cover? Hit “Reply” and tell me!
I love hearing from you :)!
—
If you enjoyed this newsletter, please forward to a friend (or 5 :) or someone you feel would benefit from reading it!
Andrea J. Miller
+1 (646) 556-5401 (Whatsapp)
.