We are not okay…and How to Lead with More Compassion During Times of Conflict
We are not okay…How to Lead with More Compassion During Times of Conflict
It’s been a difficult two weeks.
I’ve written and re-written this post in my head several (many) times.
This is a leadership and wellbeing newsletter, and I try to respect the privilege of being allowed in your inbox, but what happened and the related response to it is too deeply troubling.
The utterly horrific attacks on innocent people in Israel two weeks ago were not okay.
The loss of life of innocent people in Palestine from the subsequent bombings is also not okay.
And the antisemitism and hate occurring in the wake of both that has already led to and will likely lead to violence and even more innocent lives lost is most DEFINITELY not okay.
I say this recognizing that innocent people have been killed based on their religion, race, ethnicity, gender, etc. throughout history.
This, sadly, as we’ve witnessed far too graphically in the last few years isn’t new.
What’s new is social media and the rapid spread of disinformation fueling deep and dangerous hatred that it perpetuates.
What’s new is the often unnerving impact on all our hearts, minds, and bodies.
What’s new is that people tell themselves they’re good people, better than that and yet still allow and at times encourage it all to continue.
There’s so much that I can say here, but I will leave that for people far more knowledgeable on these subjects than myself.
What I will say, as someone who writes about work, leadership, and wellbeing is that none of us, are okay.
Your co-workers sitting next to you (if you go to the office), the people on your Zoom calls, your friends and family, they are not okay.
And yet, we go on.
A bit sadder.
A bit more anxious.
A bit more afraid.
And disturbingly, some a bit angrier and more dangerous.
We continue on, often afraid to share what we’re feeling, and yet, at the same time not knowing what to do about these feelings.
Some (most) days are hard.
Getting back to Okayness and Employee Safety and Wellbeing
Over the years I learned a very important lesson: when we fixate on being right, we close the door to allowing others to be wrong … it ends the ability for a dialogue, destroys relationships, and erodes trust.
This was evident to me during a recent dinner conversation with a friend.
He shared how he felt unable to express his opinion about the conflict with his team, a group that (according to him) by their own accounts prided themselves on being open-minded.
Ironically, their unwavering belief in their own correctness meant that anyone with a differing viewpoint couldn’t voice it (a self-fulfilling prophecy in action) – and felt unsafe.
Situations like this have an impact on organizations and the people who work there.
With the average person checking their phone 58 times a day, about half of that checking is happening at work, it isn’t surprising that everything going on outside of the office is being discussed and felt inside the office.
So, how can organizations support their sense of safety and wellbeing given everything in the world today?
It begins with effective, compassionate leadership.
This looks like an environment where leadership collaboratively discusses and learns from diverse perspectives.
Communication is key.
While you may not be able to promote civil and constructive dialogue, managers and leaders can show their support by making sure staff know what resources are available to them like mental health and flexible work arrangements.
As I mentioned before, ensuring psychological and (unfortunately) these days physical safety is essential for a healthy workplace culture.
All employees should feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns without fear of judgment. However, this needs to include clear rules such as anti-discrimination policies and emphasizing mutual respect and active listening.
It’s also crucial to be aware of how employees may respond to the current situations, recognizing changes in behavior or mood or other signs of distress.
If you see these signs, ensure that staff have access to support and can connect with appropriate resources.
Adaptability is essential in these uncertain times.
It’s important to be open to accommodating employees' needs, whether that’s offering time off, adjusting schedules, or reassigning tasks.
And remember, different people handle challenges differently.
Ensure your employees know what resources are available to them, as they may not always remember during times of extreme stress.
Lastly, provide crisis resources to employees.
Make the contact information for helplines that offer immediate support during emotional distress or crises easily available.
While we may not know exactly what to say, it’s important to recognize the personal impact that these horrible events have on the people around you, to show and offer support, and to manage these challenges together.
“The bond of our common humanity is stronger than the divisiveness of our fears and prejudices.”
— Jimmy Carter
Leading with Compassion During Times of Conflict:
1. Have a Leadership Strategy: Empathy and compassion are essential during uncertain situations. Work to create a collaborative environment among leadership to ensure decisions are made with diverse viewpoints in mind.
2. Ensure Support is Available: Make sure employees know what support is available to them. Provide resources like mental health coaching, employee assistance programs, and flexible work arrangements.
3. Promote Psychological Safety: Create a culture that encourages open dialogue and trust. This includes establishing clear rules, like anti-discrimination policies and mutual respect, to ensure psychological safety.
4. Trauma Response Plan: Ensure managers are aware of the signs of distress in employees, mood, or behavior changes. Offer support and connect them with resources when needed.
5. Adaptability is Key: Be adaptable and flexible in accommodating employees' needs during challenging times. If possible, offer time off, adjust schedules, and/or reassign tasks.
6. Provide Crisis Resources: Share immediate crisis support resources with employees, such as helplines for emotional distress and suicide prevention.
7. Proactive Support: Recognize the personal impact of global crises on employees' mental health and proactively show and offer support to manage these challenges together.
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