The Single Most Important Step Towards Reaching Your Goals
In this issue: The Single Most Important Step Towards Reaching Your Goals / How I Avoid Burnout: A West Point Performance Psychologist/ Change your mind with these gateway drugs to intellectual humility / The Lighter Side of Beginnings
Why you’re getting this:
I'm Andrea J. Miller and this is my “On Leading Well” Newsletter. I send this to people in my networks, people I’ve met recently, and friends I want to keep in touch with. You can unsubscribe (SEE THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE EMAIL) anytime, I won’t be offended
The Single Most Important Step Towards Reaching Your Goals
Whether it's starting a new job, learning a new skill, or depending on the post-COVID morning, just leaving the house :)…the unknown can be scary.
We're wired to avoid discomfort, seek the familiar, and worse still, we often ignore or downplay the times when we do take that leap of faith, which makes it that much harder the next time.
And yet, to succeed and reach our goals, we must continually ignore our natural inclinations to move past these fears.
It all starts with the first step.
Recently, a friend reminded me of my own journey into the abyss, when I started strength training.
It was an uncomfortable change after 2.5 years of COVID sloth-dom (new word?).
It took me days to actually sign up.
But I did it…mainly, because frankly my fear of what would happen if I didn’t was greater than my fear if I did (the joys of being human :).
Commit to Committing
That simple, yet difficult first step of signing up… then, walking through the door signaled to my brain that I was ready to face that challenges.
What my friend’s comment really reminded me of, is that it’s all often,
a terrible, self-defeating illusion.
We believe that it will be far worse than it is.
While I may very well be lifting the lowest weights in the room TBD, it doesn’t matter.
I show up for myself, I do the best I can, and as one of the coaches likes to say, we’re all headed to “Gains-ville” … corny, but effective.
It’s about our motivation and expectations.
Why do you want to do the thing in the first place? and how reasonable is it to believe you are going to master something you’ve never or rarely done before?
As we all enter into the great unknown and change with what feels like the takeover of our world by AI, I believe this is an incredibly important concept (if I do say so myself :).
It’s easy to become resistant to things before we even try.
It’s new and different, and in this age of social media we’re bombarded by posts and images of people mastering things that we’re terrible at (spoiler alert at some point they were too).
I get it, it’s scary as hell.
It’s also a false narrative.
No matter where you are, in whatever you want to undertake there will always be someone better (and worse)… and that doesn’t matter.
This is your beginning.
How do you get better?
What steps do YOU need to take?
At the risk of being overly simplistic (my gift), it all starts with that first step and the willingness to take the second one, no matter how good or bad you think you did.
You may never be great at it.
But you definitely won’t if you don’t try.
So, make a plan.
Find the support you need on your personal road to “Gains-ville”…but, whatever just keep moving.
Oh, and remember to acknowledge how incredibly hard it was to take that step and that you did it.
The Road to Gains-ville…
1. Accept the fear: The first step in overcoming fear is to accept it. It's natural. We’re all afraid of some/many things, it’s just that nobody admits…the brave own it!
2. Reframe it: Shift your perspective from fear to curiosity. Instead of focusing on potential failure, think about the goal you want to achieve and what’s possible when you take a chance …or for some, what opportunities you’ll miss out on if you don’t (welcome to the negative bias of the human brain).
3. Break it down: Small, manageable tasks are less overwhelming and allow you to focus on one step at a time, and build momentum and confidence as you progress. For me, that means signing up for strength classes (if I don’t show up there’s a $20 fee and I let myself down - ouch) and then walking through the door. Once I’m there, I know I’ll give it my all, whatever that means on that day.
4. Find support: Create a “no-fail” system of support, people or circumstances that give you advice and encouragement when you need it.
5. Celebrate small wins: Recognize, list, and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. By reminding ourselves of our past successes, we’re better able to see what we’re capable of achieving moving forward.
Remember, the first steps matter – so create a plan, take a deep breath, and embark on your journey toward achieving your goals.
—
RECOMMENDED LISTENS, READS And other interesting things
How I Avoid Burnout: A West Point Performance Psychologist
Don’t fret what you can’t control, squeeze in micro-breaks whenever you can, and learn to relax on cue.
Change your mind with these gateway drugs to intellectual humility
Intellectual humility demands that we examine our motivations for holding certain beliefs.
—
The Lighter Side of Beginnings
—
Executive Coaching Office Hours (EXCLUSIVE FOR READERS)
Ask me ANYTHING leadership, career or wellbeing-related for free, 1-on-1 (REALLY)
Click the link to schedule a time.
—
Are there any other subjects you want me to cover? Hit “Reply” and tell me!
I love hearing from you :)!
—
If you enjoyed this newsletter, please forward to a friend (or 5 :) or someone you feel would benefit from reading it!
Andrea J. Miller
+1 (646) 556-5401 (Whatsapp)