Mind the Gap…Are Your Blindspots Impacting Your Success?

In this issue: Mind the Gap…Are Your Blindspots Impacting Your Success? / Take 5: Cultivating Empathy in the Workplace / How Parents' Trauma Leaves Biological Traces in Children - Scientific American / The Lighter Side of Feedback

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I'm Andrea J. Miller and this is my “On Leading Well” Newsletter. I send this to people in my networks, people I’ve met recently, and friends I want to keep in touch with. You can unsubscribe (SEE THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE EMAIL) anytime, I won’t be offended

Mind the Gap…Are Your Blindspots Impacting Your Success?

What do your co-workers think of you?

If you’re anything like people I recently did 360 debriefs with, you’re probably wrong.

Ok, not about everything, but about just enough to make you question your abilities…and to help you think, learn and grow.

While 360s can feel a little intimidating they also provide a wealth of data, both positive and, well, not-so-positive.

The important question, as with all feedback, is what will you choose to do with it?

That’s where people like me come in. We talk you through it and/or depending on the feedback (and how you receive it), “talk you down” off the proverbial ledge.

It’s in those moments that you have what may seem like an overwhelming choice…

Do you continue to do things as you’ve always done them, dismissing or ignoring the findings? Or,

Take it to heart, try to fix everything, and get completely overwhelmed in the process (often our natural inclination)?

There’s also a third way, which is what I recommend, which is to take a more targeted approach and choose those one or two actions that will have the most impact on achieving your goals.

Of course, that’s easy to say and like with most change, far more difficult to implement.

That’s because our brains are both beautifully and fatally flawed and we frequently gravitate toward the negative (that old limbic system is still trying to keep us safe).

This can make find creating new habits incredibly hard…which can make addressing feedback an uncomfortable task.

Mind the Gap(s)

While the people I worked with were diverse in gender, job titles and levels, ages, countries of origin (approximately 80% international), etc. a few distinct themes quickly became apparent enough to provoke this post.

For now, I’ll focus on one that has impacted us all at some point…confidence.

Despite being chosen for this process as high potentials and/or emerging leaders, many said that they lacked confidence in areas of their work.

This was also evident in the data, because in debriefs, as in life, it’s important to spot the gaps.

It’s a curious thing how so often we see ourselves one way, but inevitably others see us differently. And in this case, their colleagues often took a far more positive view of their abilities and potential than they did.

So, how do you/they close that gap and reach the potential that is so clearly evidenced by everyone else?

It’s not easy. We can be our biggest critics, frequently failing to recognize and own our successes, and yet agonizing on every area deemed even slightly less than our expectations.

The scary reality about making this shift towards being more confident is that it’s about taking action.

It’s only through action that we can develop that personal sense of trust in our own ability to succeed that we gain the confidence we seek.

In fact, that’s literally what the word confidence means in Latin:

con = with

fidere = trust

The more you develop that indestructible sense that you can meet whatever challenge that will come your way, the more confident you will be.

The irony is that, of course, you’d take more actions, if you only felt more confident.

But if we wait until we felt like it, then we’d probably never begin.

So, why not start now?

A Few Suggestions for Increasing Your Confidence and Narrowing the Gap

1.     Start Small - Fear is a natural part of building confidence, start small and gradually build that confidence muscle.

2.     Newton’s Law – Personally I’m still traumatized by high school physics class (talk about a gap), but Newton knew what he was talking about when he created his Law. An object at rest remains at rest, and an object in motion remains in motion, or put more simply, Just Do It!  The sooner you take action, the sooner you’ll build that trust and the more confident you’ll be.

3.     What’s Your Why? – Getting clear on our why or what makes it important to us, can be a game changer. We’re usually looking for a reward or trying to escape punishment.

So, ask yourself “How will your life change for the better if you do this?” Or “What will you be missing out on or losing if you don’t?” A little well-placed motivation can be the difference between confidence and a very uncomfortable physics lesson on inertia.

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RECOMMENDED LISTENS, READS

Take 5: Cultivating Empathy in the Workplace

Nobody wants to spend all day surrounded by anger, resentment, or petty snubbing. So it is important for leaders to create a workplace culture that is empathetic.

How Parents' Trauma Leaves Biological Traces in Children - Scientific American

Adverse experiences can change future generations through epigenetic pathways

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The Lighter Side of Feedback

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Are there any other subjects you want me to cover? Have Questions? Or, Need a Coach to Help You Create Your Wild and Precious Life… Hit “Reply” and tell me!

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Andrea J. Miller

+1 (646) 556-5401 (Whatsapp)