If You’re Drowning in a Sea of Limiting Beliefs…Then It’s Time to Learn to Swim
In this issue: If You’re Drowning in a Sea of Limiting Beliefs…/Too much free time won’t make you happier / An economist’s rule for making tough life decisions / The Lighter Side of Unlimited Beliefs
Why you’re getting this: I'm Andrea J. Miller and this is my “On Leading Well” Newsletter. I send this to people in my networks, people I’ve met recently, and friends I want to keep in touch with. You can unsubscribe (SEE THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE EMAIL) anytime, I won’t be offended
If You’re Drowning in a Sea of Limiting Beliefs…Then It’s Time to Learn to Swim
We all have things we want/need to do, but don’t.
Something inevitably gets in the way.
And while we find endless justifications, somewhere underneath it all we know the truth…
That the cause actually lies within us.
It’s not that we can’t do it…
Or that we’re not able…
It’s that we believe we can’t.
The good news is that this isn’t unusual.
We all go through it on some level.
The question to ask is “why do some persist, while so many of us don’t, though we secretly want to?”
Time to Call a LifeGuard(s)
Recently I decided to face one of my limiting beliefs.
Something that’s haunted me, and I know negatively impacted my career.
You see, I have Glossophobia!
It’s even worse than it sounds.
In “real” terms, it’s the fear of public speaking,
Experts (who are they really? :) estimate that I’m (most) definitely not alone, that as much as 77% of the population has some level of anxiety regarding public speaking.
Up until a few weeks ago, I spent my life avoiding public speaking.
I’d do it when I had to, but only if I had to …and tried to ensure that I never had to.
But finally, I’d had enough.
I decided that that was no longer who I wanted to be and it had to stop (sometimes stubbornness has its virtues :).
I hated how much it had limited me.
So, I called a lifeguard, several, in fact.
These are people who saved me from drowning from my limiting beliefs and who kept me afloat as I learned to swim.
It began with a 3-hour workshop with a friend. I knew if I started to drown, she’d be there to make sure I didn’t.
That’s when I found that I could in fact swim or at least tread water on my own.
However, once isn’t enough. The thing about fears and limiting beliefs is that they can persist. Our brains often need A LOT of proof that the danger is gone, before they/we can relax.
So, less than 2 weeks later, I agreed to be in front of a room again - this time on my own.
But the journey to that point wasn’t one I did alone. I hired a vocal/presentation coach for a couple of sessions and asked friends for help.
Lifeguards come in many forms.
And only you can determine who/what you need to get past your limiting beliefs and accomplish your goals.
If they’ve been in place for a while, like mine, then more help may be required.
The important thing to remember is that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but wisdom, learning, and growth.
We live in rapidly changing times. There will always be things we don’t know, and our ability and willingness to find ways to bridge the gap will make a difference.
In case you were wondering, my hour-long solo presentation in front of 40+ was a success!
And while I know I’ll be nervous the next time, I also now know I can do it and won’t say “no,” when another opportunity arises.
Learn to Swim
1. Assess the challenge.
2. Determine what new skills you may need to be successful.
3. Call your version of a lifeguard(s), it could be a friend, coach, colleague, etc. Whoever can help you close the gap between the challenge you face and your current skill level.
4. Just do it! Not to get all Nike on you, but the more our brains know that it’s ok, we can do this, the less anxious we’ll be.
5. Finally, no matter what the outcome, CELEBRATE! Simply putting yourself out there and recognizing that good, bad, or mediocre you can and did do it, is a win.
To borrow from the infamous Theodore Roosevelt quote (below), no matter what the actual outcome, once you dare to enter “the arena,” you cannot fail.
—
The Lighter Side of Unlimited Beliefs
d Beliefs
RECOMMENDED LISTENS, READS And other interesting things
Too much free time won’t make you happier
Scientists “found was that two to five hours of free time in a day is ideal for boosted happiness. Having less than two hours or more than five hours of free time a day, however, decreased happiness.”
An economist’s rule for making tough life decisions
“…changing your life is a big deal. It takes a lot of work and emotional energy. And it’s often very difficult to predict if a dramatic turn will actually make us happier and more fulfilled, or if it will be the biggest mistake ever and we’ll shrivel up into little raisins of regret.”
—
Are there any other subjects you want me to cover? Hit “Reply” and tell me!
I love hearing from you :)!
—
If you enjoyed this newsletter, please forward to a friend (or 5 :) or someone you feel would benefit from reading it!
Andrea J. Miller
+1 (646) 556-5401 (Whatsapp)
.