A Matter of Trust …

Developing Authentic Connections in a Multicultural, Virtual World

In this issue: A Matter of Trust… / Giving social support to others may boost your health / TThe War Over Chocolate Croissants / The Lighter Side of Trust

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Why you’re getting this:

I'm Andrea J. Miller and this is my “The Wellthy Leader” Newsletter. I send this to people in my networks, people I’ve met recently, and friends I want to keep in touch with. You can unsubscribe (SEE THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE EMAIL) anytime, I won’t be offended

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A Matter of Trust …

Developing Authentic Connections in a Multicultural, Virtual World

Who do you trust?

Trust is one of the most critical parts of our interactions with others, and yet we often take it for granted and frequently assume that it’s been granted…when, in fact, it has not.

Pre-COVID data from the General Social Survey (GSS) showed that people in the US trusted each other far less than in the past.

Yet since the pandemic, trust has never been more important in the workplace or more complicated.

Organizations with high levels of trust reported having more positive employee experiences.

This also has a significant impact on wellbeing, with people at high-trust companies experiencing 74% less stress and 40% less burnout.

However, our shift to work from home has changed the very nature of how we connect and develop that trust.

Companies have gone from centralized office spaces to hundreds, even thousands of home offices dispersed across cities, countries, and continents as remote employment became the norm for some.

The lack of IRL contact influences how we relate to one another.

With nonverbal communication accounting for as much as 93% of communication, the endless rounds of Zoom meetings and related Zoom fatigue has an impact.

Without realizing it, we may question how well we really know someone and, if we want to connect and/or work with them at all.

It’s a matter of trust.

Without regular in-person communication, it can be more difficult to develop a sense of security and confidence in the other person.

We may feel uncertain about their dependability and credibility as we develop these virtual relationships.

But the world has irrevocably changed, and we must change along with it.

With or without COVID some part of our lives and relationships will remain virtual.

Virtually Together

These post-COVID changes also come with advantages.

Trading our walls for cameras has brought greater opportunities for global connections.

Like many of you, since the start of the pandemic, I’ve developed new and trusted connections around the world. Which is why I’m writing this.

Despite the distance and having never actually met my new colleagues/friends we have been able to develop deep, and I believe lasting, trusted connections.

Yet that didn’t happen with everyone.

What is at the heart of this difference?

Why are we able to develop trust with some people and others, well, not so much…

Here are a few thoughts/observations from my experiences.

Givers v Takers

In his book Give and Take, Adam Grant shows that givers come out on top since people trust and support them. That’s because they add value and enhance the success of those around them.

Conversely, Grant found that takers quickly develop a reputation for putting others last, which as you can imagine, doesn’t usually work out well in the trust equation.

Having a giving mentality is a key element to forming strong, trusted relationships that benefit both people.

Can I Count on You?

Good intentions can go a long way towards creating the relationship outcomes you want, particularly when dealing with an emotional brain state, like trust.

Whether in-person or virtually, trust is built over time, as we repeatedly demonstrate to the other person that they can depend on us.

It’s easy to misconstrue friendliness for trust and ask for things before that trust has truly developed. While the other person may not necessarily say or show it that fragile trust may already be broken.

Culture Matters … Or Does It?

Where the other person is from can greatly impact your ability to establish a trusting relationship.

According to the World Values Survey, disparities in trust across countries can be extreme. Norway tops the list of most trusting countries (go Norway!) at 73.73% while the Philippines are at the bottom with a trust score of 2.83%. 

As with all things human, it’s more nuanced than the numbers suggest…making it important not to over-generalize the outcomes.

The Data are simply just that, they don’t account for individual differences, experiences, and beliefs. It’s best to pay attention, have that cultural awareness, and act/react on an individual basis.

Take a Coaching Approach

People put their trust in others who create channels for open, authentic, collaborative conversations.

Give the other person the opportunity to be heard. Ask questions and genuinely share both professional and personal information.

Open, curious conversations are at the foundation of creating trusting relationships.

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RECOMMENDED LISTENS, READS

Giving social support to others may boost your health

Researchers at Ohio State University found that on one important measure of health – chronic inflammation – positive social relationships were associated with lower inflammation only among people who said they were available to provide social support to family and friends. Bottom line, if you want to feel better, help someone else.

The War Over Chocolate Croissants

When the French fight over pain au chocolat or is it chocolatines?…either way, you know it’s serious.

I don’t know about you, but the quickest way to develop trust with me is a good chocolate croissant…ok, not quite, but it certainly helps a lot of things, so why are the French fighting over it?

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The Lighter Side of Trust

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Are there any other subjects you want me to cover? Hit “Reply” and tell me!

I love hearing from you :)!

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Andrea J. Miller, SHRM-SCP

+1 (646) 556-5401 (Whatsapp)